Creating ChangesMy Destiny with Art Therapy |
| By Joanna Tan | |||||
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One evening, without much thinking, I set up a ‘still life’ by placing a bowl and utensils on a red satin cloth. I set up the composition as how I would normally set up a place at the dinner table at home. While the look seemed casual, it was very important to me that the red background reflected energy, movement and flow. I also wanted to highlight the simplicity of the empty bowl and the shadows that the spotlight created. Taking a deep breath, I put my paintbrush to the canvas and began. As I painted the different ele-ments of the composition one by one over the weeks, I noticed the movements of my inner emotional responses. As I painted the red background, I was connected to feelings of joy and gratitude. As I painted the bowl, I was led from the painful feelings of loss to a profound sense of acceptance and surrender. The act of painting seemed to have transformed into an act of meditation. What emerged in silence was an encounter with the meaning and purpose that grew out of the events of my life at that time. This unexpected encounter made me wonder about the power of ‘image making’ - to ask, to experience and to discover beyond the conscious grasp. When I finished the painting, I experienced a profound realisation that I had found a treasure that was mine yet not mine to keep. Continuing to heed the inner promptings that had led me to begin painting again, I found myself leaving the comfort and security of the corporate world and flying to Australia to study in a subject field that was then little known in Singapore. At that moment, discovering art therapy was like ‘coming home’ to me, so much so that it did not even matter if I would be able to get a job once I attained my Masters. Till today, the empty rice bowl holds symbolic meaning for me. Then, it was an experience of ‘letting go’ of illusionary beliefs and attachments that once defined me but now it is a constant reminder for me of the posture I need to have as I live my life as a therapist. It is in emptying myself of judgements and pre-conceptions that I can safely create a space and contain all that my clients ‘pour out’ in the session.
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